Sunday, April 19, 2009

My Love/Hate Relationship

Don't we all have these type of relationships?

Well the last two days has made me realize I have a bittersweet relationship with my job, yep, no surprise, huh? I am sure most of you could all say the same...but let me tell you about my bittersweet job as a mother/baby nurse.

Love Aspects

I love that I get to spend those first hours with moms (sometimes dads) and their newborn...the smiles, tears, amazement. Reminds me every time of my own moments. More importantly, it reminds me how awesome the miracle of life is....God is a genius!

Our first family picture

Having said that, I love the babies. Getting to hold them, feed them, smell them its all the perks of the job. Another perk is that they stay at work, and I get to come home and go to bed without being awakened every 3 hours. (Although, by the way, I can't wait to have another, its all worthwhile :) )

Garyn while still in the hospital

I love the camaraderie, friendships, adult conversation, basically having time away from my daily routine in toddler world.
Dinner out with coworkers

I love that I get to serve others through my work, even though sometimes I complain about being busy and on my feet all night. Doing simple tasks for others and helping them when in need is something I have always enjoyed doing.

Which leads me to the fact that I love knowing God approves of my job...its one thing that I followed His lead on. Nurses' job duties extend from saving a life to helping someone to the bathroom, and everything in between, if you know what I mean. Nurses see it all and don't think twice about it. I think Jesus would have made a great nurse. He continually served to those who were in their darkest hour. So I love doing what God wants me to do.

My nursing class

On the contrary

I hate leaving my boys....I know everybody feels the same about their job, it would be great if "work" was always a family endeavor; however we would probably not like each other as much. But working nights means I occasionally leave when my husband is just getting home. Also, I tend to work weekends (in order not to have to send Garyn to daycare) and so I miss that Saturday morning breakfast, lounging together, playing in the yard, hitting up the yard sales. I even miss going to church sometimes, like today.
Garyn riding his truck around
Garyn and Tyler at the ballpark

I hate that holidays are still work days. Tyler gets off for holidays constantly; I tend to have to work them or use my sick days to get paid if I'm off. Flip side is that I do get paid more for working the main ones, so maybe I can't count that one. But you can't ever get back those Christmas mornings, Thanksgiving get-togethers, and awesome New Year's parties! Priceless, they are!

Christmas Eve

And now to the most frequent occurring reason I hate working....a little thing we call push-back and low census. If the census (a.k.a. patient #) is low, less nurses are needed and you may get low census or LC, if its your turn. Push back is worse because it means you aren't needed at 6:30 but may be needed later in the night and you have to be ready any minute they call usually until 11pm. AND you don't get paid for being "on-call"!! Half the time you never go and have spent all evening limiting what you can do.

BUT on to the point, this Saturday night was plagued by being pushed back. Tyler was/is out of town and both grandparents were busy so Garyn was going to have a babysitter (aka Molly) until Tyler's parents could get here around midnight. Needless to say, as soon as I got told I was pushed back, I was ecstatic to be able to stay home with Garyn. Then right after calling off Molly and heading out to dinner, I was called back and told to come in. Imagine the breaks going off, the rewind button being hit...... Ohhhhh...I wasn't happy, the emotions were everywhere, that sinking feeling of UGH I don't want to got to work now! Indian giver!! But I did my duty and flipped the plans back to original order and went to work.

Now for the love side again.......I got low census tonight and now get to be at home with Garyn and tomorrow be here (& awake) since Tyler is off! He will be getting home around 10:30 am and if I had worked, the in-laws would have Garyn again or something of that sort.

Rambling aside, I love my job (most of the time)!

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