pieces to the puzzle

I have many fond memories of doing puzzles when I was younger. My grandmother used to have one on the dining room table at all times. We would spend time together working and talking finishing them. A very important family friend loved puzzles, too, and I often stayed at the table with him for hours working on one. Garyn has a heart for puzzles, like myself. We often sit down and do puzzles together now learning about each other as we work.

I have had a lot of thoughts lately about how life is filled with pieces that come together to make it whole....like a puzzle.

God amazingly created this earth, us and the way we all live together. Some pieces are closer and more important but all the while need the other pieces to function.

On Saturday, when I was driving to Atlanta to pick up Tyler from the airport upon his return from Honduras, I thought a lot about our main 4 piece puzzle. Tyler, Garyn, myself and now Anlsey make a whole. Sentimentally, I thought about how when one of us is gone for an extended amount of time, life is just different. We need each other more than I usually realize.

We can't always be together obviously, and its so hard to imagine, but one day Garyn and Ansley will start their own puzzle. One of the most significant times that I was able to understand and relate to my mother n' law, now known as Nana, was when Garyn was in his first weeks of life. Tyler was once in her womb and a major piece to her puzzle of life. I had been, too, for my dad and mom. Seeing how much Garyn meant to me, helped me to completely understand the way our own parents feel towards us. Just like the old saying goes...that one you heard over and over..."One day, you'll have kids and understand"

Even though, we do have to let go of our children one day, they are always a part of your puzzle. Tyler and I are a part of our parents puzzle and have just added another picture of our own to the side.

Friends, family, church, memories, work...they also are part of our puzzles, whether we realize it or not.

Orphanage Emmanuel is now a part of Tyler and I's puzzle pieces. The staff, children, places and presence of God there tugs at our heart. We feel that we will always return, as much as we can, in order to keep this piece in tow.

Tyler, as he was supposed to, found us a new piece while there. Rosa and Karina, our first 2 sponsored girls, have both returned home with family. Them leaving didn't mean they left our puzzle, just moved out further to the edges. I still often think of them and pray they are well and safe. But little Omar is the new piece, a new member at Orphanage Emmanuel that needed a sponsor. Though I haven't met him or seen him, a place for him is growing in my heart. A pure reflection of God's love for us. I know God loves him and has a plan for his life. I can be a physical expression of that love for God because I know that is what he has called us to do and gives us the desire to do whether we want to or not.

Just can't wait to meet him and love on him. He is only one, as of Jan. 31st. I promise to post pictures!

I feel the same way about little Ansley, of course. Knowing that she is about to be a big piece of our puzzle just makes my heart swell. She already is actually. Once we see her and learn about her personality it is only going to be harder to imagine the 3 piece puzzle we had before she came into existence.

I know God has all of our puzzle pieces in His hands, big and small. He places them when the time is right. He knows the full picture and knows when we are ready to see more of it. I pray that I won't try to move any pieces on my own. We all know that when you try to make a piece fit that isn't right, it just never works!

I am thankfully for my big pieces and little ones, too. I felt so whole on Saturday knowing Tyler had returned safely and we all were together again.

Have you ever felt like life was a big puzzle?

We Will Remember....

I love the song We Will Remember. (I would love for you to go and listen to this song) On the way home yesterday, I was thinking about all I had seen and learned. That song kept coming to me and seemed to be a great blog idea....

Today has been an eye opening day to top off this eye opening week I had in Honduras. 

God has been opening my eyes to a lot lately.

 To start it off, I have finished Crazy Love. I would recommend the book and have had some similar books recommended to me that I want to read next. But that's another subject.

Living an intentional life is the lesson I took from the book. Not allowing yourself to be "luke warm" and complacent as a Christian, yet do God's will for your life. Do whatever it takes to do what you feel moved to do despite what our society may say or think about it. I was convicted by this and had begun to pray for God's will to be laid on my heart.

Then, I left for Honduras where I saw such poverty yet faith. Every Christian there, as far as I can tell, "walks by faith, not by sight" as 2 Cor. 5:7 encourages us to do. All of the staff, the many children, the volunteers that come, and even the sponsers of the children must have faith that God will provide them their next meal; that He will keep them safe; and/or that He will stretch their love across the world to the kids. Comprehending this concept is tiring when you first arrive. I have many blessings and have many family members to lean on. They were all from the Lord, but I don't give Him the credit always. However, they have very little and must have faith that God will provide at the Orphanage.

I want to remember these lessons God has taught me and change things in my life that hinder me to live in God's will and by faith. I will remember a lot more, as well. 

All the wonderful smiles the children give you when you just ask them their name or give them a hug.....

The love I felt for many children, especially Rosa..... 

The stress Brent and Bettye were feeling about the appointments to bring Azucena home and the sheer relief when things fell into place miracously......

The many friends I made on the trip. I left hardly knowing 2 people, but had faith that I would make friends and feel comfortable with my travel mates.......

The spanish lessons we had with our cooks. They always kept us laughing........

Playing Phase 10 with my new friends that also had us all laughing......

The worshipping children during the church services and their morning circles.........

Seeing my first pig slaughter, I won't ever forget that.....

(I will spare you from the pictures, trust me)

My time in the clinic, I felt nervous about it beforehand, not knowing what I would be doing or if I would remember pediatric nursing, but God handled that and I felt at ease......

I won't forget seeing Rosa's tears the night before I left or the feeling of my own heart breaking for her.....

I also will not forget this morning's church service where a lot of things came into place for me. Remember how I said I had been thinking about We Will Remember and this blog post? Well, low and behold we sang that song in church today. I teared up and knew God wanted me to remember this trip.

I also started thinking of things in my life that hinder me from living God's will. I started writing them on the bulletin and showed them to Tyler. I was saying how Crazy Love and the trip were showing me areas that I needed to change in order to live in God's will.

All the while, Pastor Dooley was speaking and I wasn't really hearing him but then as if his microphone was turned up, I heard him talking about how to live in God's will. He was speaking on how God will show you His will for your life through events and feelings and on His own time. I really started tearing up then. It was a wonderful moment to know that the ideas and thoughts I had been having over the last week were of God. He was making me aware of areas that I had become complacent and afraid to step out on faith.

Furthermore, not but 5 minutes ago, in the middle of me writing this post. My father n' law was here and I was telling him about my trip. Not knowing anything about my day or this post, he even said " So they really live by faith there." Just another statement that reinforced what God is showing me to do.

Friends, our God is amazing. I hope you know Him and are able to trust Him.

I can't wait to return to Orphanage Emmanuel and see Rosa again. If God wants us to, he will provide the way.

Triste o feliz

I can't decide whether to be sad or happy....triste o feliz

Today was my last day here at Orphanage Emmanuel. I can't wait to see my boys!

This is the longest I have been away from Garyn and I am going to squeeze and kiss him endlessly tomorrow! Tyler, too

Distance definitely makes the heart grow fonder

That statement is two fold now for me. Rosa will be in my heart now forever. I still hardly know her, but I am already anticipating the next time I will get to come see her. Today was hard for her which in turn became hard for me. After lunch, I tried to talk to her and she was ignoring me. Tonight at dinner, she didn't want to come to me and then went in a corner and was crying. Her friends cheered her up some, but she still had tears. Therefore, I began to cry. I just couldn't stand to see someone that has very few friends and no real family, cry because I was leaving. It broke my heart.

This was her pose most of the night. She didn't want to look or talk to me. I eventually got some smiles out of her. It made me so happy to see her smile.....

(this wasn't from tonight though)

I told her to pray that we will be able to return in February. I hope she gets back into school. If not, I will still be coming to see her and love her.

So today was a sad yet happy day saying goodbye. I will be sad yet happy tomorrow, too.

Honduras Contd.

Life here at the Orphange has been well. I feel humbled and grateful for all I have at my disposable. Tyler asked me today what did I miss besides he and Garyn. I said, "Really just you guys." Of course, with time I would miss others and some things, but I have been thinking more simplistic. I mean, makeup, hair, clothes, shoes are not important here. Well let me say that they are important, they mean a lot to the kids, but they are just thrilled to have them. They don't get "new" shoes and clothes every season. They don't have different shoes to match their outfits. When their hair is clean and lice free, it is in much better condition than at one point of their life. Straightening and coloring is no where in their vocabulary. The pastor I am with and his wife may be taking a girl they have been sponsoring for awhile home next week on a student visa. I asked them if she had any of her own clothes to take back. They weren't sure but have sent her some over the years. They brought a small carry-on size bag for her belongings. She may not even fill that bag. So to say I have felt self centered and materialistic since being here is an understatement. I hope I can remember this when I get home and change my way of thinking.

 We are still working in the clinic assessing children about 5 hours of the day. So far we have seen about 80 children in 3 days. We have cleaned lots of bug bites and ears. We had two lice treatments today and it really may not do too much good since all the girls share things. We did have a child with a candy wrapper or something in his ear. I did not attempt to remove it. So we will see if they get to it tomorrow. I enjoy working with them. We will probably only do it one more day and then try to do some activities with the kids one day.

And to finish off the day, we went to the warehouse to unload the container truck that came. Yesterday one came from California with rice, flour and beans. Today it was the one from Chattanooga with many moon pies. I mean come on, you have got to have your food pyramid covered! There were thousands on the truck. The kids usually eat one in the morning with their cereal. Unloading the container is a big event here. It was all quite humurous really. The older boys that help unload love to jump on top of it at the front gate....

I now know what I will do with the yard sale items in my garage. Tyler will be so happy to get rid of them, and I will feel good knowing they will go to a good cause. The container had some furniture, refridgerator, microwave, piano, and overhead projectors for the school. Plus many other clothes and food items. The volunteers that come for the summer also get packages and were excited for that. Its almost like a monthly Christmas. The bottom picture is their warehouse that houses extra food, clothes, toys and furniture.

Well before I go, I need for you to pray for my return home. Right now the airport is saying they are closed to repair the runway until Monday. We are supposed to be flying out Saturday. We have heard that they could have it done earlier, but we don't know. The closest airport is an 8-11 hour drive depending on road conditions (most roads here are dirt and during the rainy season, which is now, they are very bumpy and washed away). I know by then I will really miss my boys! It is bitter sweet, though, because if they were here I could stay an extra few days. But anyhow, pray that God keeps us all content while His will is done.

New Friends

I have been making lots of new amigos today. I worked in the clinic doing assessments on kids. There is a medical clinic here and 2 nurses on staff. Doctors come periodically and the nurses take children into the capital when something is urgent. Otherwise, ear infections and rashes just get treated here. We were doing a basic assessment and flagging children that  need meds. Rebekah that is on the trip is in nursing school. She is Pastor Brent's son's girlfriend. The two of us did the assessments while others weighed and transported the kids. We started with the toddlers and then after lunch did the middle aged boys. We worked a total of 4-4.5 hours and saw 31 kids. So I got to make lots of new friends! I am also learning lots of Spanish and trying to remember it all. The kids kknow a fair amount of English, too, so they have no trouble getting what they want.

We had to finish early because the children have bible study in the afternoons on Mondays and Wednesdays. We went down to the middle aged girls (8-11). They are so small here so they look about 7. I met lots of new friends and they all wanted their picture taken.

Aren't they so beautiful and photogenic. They say foto and then take your camera from you so they can look at themselves. I have plenty more but can't get them download fast enough.

Tomorrow will be the same most likely. It feels good to be helping somehow.

I was able to talk to Tyler last night through facebook. It was very nice to have some type of contact with him. Hopefully, we can skype sometime. But I know Saturday will be here quick and I will miss being here.

I leave you with some beautiful pictures of the Orphanage. The last is our house of residence.

Honduras!

Well I’m here in Honduras!


I had a good flight and didn’t get too motion sick. I mainly just had a head ache that wasn’t gone until this morning. My company on the plane was great. I was between two Hondurans; one has been in America the last 30 years and the other illegally came to America for the last 6 years and knew little English. Long story short, I heard both of their stories over the 3 ½ hour flight. ( I think I got about 20 mins to snooze)

The American-Honduran to my right, that spoke fluent English, has started a children rescue mission and comes to Honduras 6 times a year. He is a Christian that felt called to leave his job 6 years ago and work full time to bring mission groups over to minister, feed children and seniors and hopefully start an orphanage. He asked me my testimony and encouraged me in my walk. I did the same for him. After I told him about Orphanage Emmanuel, he was feeling down about what he was doing; that it was inadequate in comparison. I really encouraged him in that what he was doing was so much more than anyone else is doing for those kids. He gave me a list of prayer requests and his website to keep in touch. To the left, was the man working in America for 6 years and hadn’t seen his wife and 4 children during that time. He was returning home after working to make money for a tractor or possibly to start a business. Though we didn’t speak the same language, his excitement radiated off of him. I couldn’t imagine not seeing Tyler or Garyn for 6 years! I really felt God placed me in that seat, I was humbled and more prepared when the plane landed.

  Once in the capital and driving to where the Orphange is, I was attempting to comprehend the views in a third world country. Extremes of nice hotels and malls to small homes, no, shacks on top of each other. You could literally take 4-5 pieces of plywood and build yourself a better home than these. You could see the people inside them eating, changing, children playing on dirt floors, clothes stacked on the floor (a stack that would fit in one laundry basket), and then you would see a mall the size of Northgate. So basically I needed Tyler there to explain to me why there was such poverty, but yet enough economy to support a mall.

  Anyway, on to the more fun stuff.....

  I met Rosa once we got here while she was eating dinner. It was a weird feeling, kinda like  the feeling you have after meeting your newborn child. I had known of her, known a little about what she liked and had already felt love towards her before meeting her. Then when I met her; there was excitement but yet I didn't know her hardly at all and couldn't speak to her! She is doing good, not in school anymore and says she is bored here. Mainly like a typical 14 year old, she acted out in school and since they can't force her to go to school after 6th grade, she isn't anymore. But she really wanted to know where Tyler was and if I could call him so that she could talk to him. I told her I wished I could talk to him! I thought it was sweet though that she wanted me to tell him she loved him. I got to see her room where she has the picture we sent of the 3 of us on her bed. She and her friends giggle and laugh a lot, saying who knows what. They want to hold my hands, play with my hair and take pictures. We have also looked at and watched every picture and video on my phone of Garyn and Tyler. Here are some of the pictures they have taken.

Church was great this morning. I almost cried about three times. I loved the girls singing and raising their hands. The fact that they have a home, food and people that love them was a little overwhelming. We sang some songs that I wish I could remember the words to, but they really spoke to me.

Well it is almost dinner time so I will try to write again. Rosa just got here and is able to eat dinner with me tonight. Today wasn't very busy so I don't know if I will have time the other days.

Orphanage Emmanuel

Orphanage Emmanuel of Guaimaca, Honduras has captured both Tyler and I's heart on first site. Tyler was there for a week and came back a slightly different person, I must say. He said several times that words couldn't describe the Orphanage and its beauty. God is truly at work there.

Just a little background on the Orphanage.......

It was started by a couple who felt called by God to go to Honduras on mission. Once there, God showed them His plan for them to help the children there. Through translation mishaps, they bought a 1,000 acre farm for the same amount as the 80 acres they had intended to buy. The land had 2 buildings and they began with 5 children; that was in 1989. Now they have 408 children and 15+ buildings. The children attend church and school on the grounds. The outside community is not very safe and is poor, to say the least. Guards are positioned outside the orphanage walls and also around banks and stores in the town. Picture below is of the market on the dirt streets of Guaimaca.

All of the buildings that have been added on the Orphanage have mostly been done by volunteers. Our church has been going for 13-14 years, and one of our members is on the board for the orphanage. Our church and surrounding ones sent groups over a period of 3 weeks to build 4 new staff houses this year. Tyler worked with our Sunday School teacher, Carter, on connecting power lines to them. Carter is a Linesman per trade. Tyler and others helped him, on the ground thankfully, to do the job. These pics are of Tyler getting a lesson on how to climb, he only went 7-8 feet up this one time. I was very relieved!

Carter up a pole...

The children are there for all different reasons. The orphanage tries to bring them out of their tragic background through God's promises and love. The kids have group time with their house mates each day which includes a devotion/ prayer time. Then on Fridays, they have "big circle" which is what you see below. While he was there, he saw 20 kids baptized!

The children are grouped with their age and sex. Here are the boys after their bath before bed. They LOVE to have their picture made, according to Tyler, and then see themselves in the camera.

They don't get candy much, so when Tyler started passing at candy one day, they just flocked to him.

These two girls, Rosa and Korina, latched on to him. We are going to sponsor them both, because Tyler (or Tylo as they say) became attached to them, as well. Sponsoring includes a monthly payment to help pay for the expenses of feeding/clothing them and then you are encouraged to keep in touch and send them little gifts as you want. All the children get the same treatment outside of recieving gifts/letters even if they aren't sponsered, but having a sponsor gives them someone to form a relationship with outside the Orphanage.

The orphanage has 2 deep wells for clean water......

This is a pic of the slaughter house where the orphanage processes and stores their own meat. They have cows, chickens and pigs that are raised on the farm. One of the staff members, that lives on the farm now after coming there on a mission trip, graduated with an agriculture degree. They also consume milk from the cows (that they process first) and eggs from the chickens. It helps them with their costs, not to mention the limited sanitary food in the town. Tyler saw the meat market which is a little open air room with meat hanging from hooks on the ceiling.

They also have some green houses where they grow some basic veggies and ornamental flowers to sell and use aroung the grounds of the orphanage.

Here is one of the 4 houses built mailnly by volunteers. Honduran construction workers laid the foundation and brick, the rest was finished in the 3 weeks the church groups were there.

Tyler went into town one day and bought a snack. A drink and chips were only like 50 cents. But that wasn't as shocking as when they didn't let him have the drink bottle. They pour your drink into a plastic bag and stick a straw in it! The price for the bottles is too high for them to give them to you, its like a recycling thing or something.

You can tell this playground has been built by some Chattanoogans.......

Laundry area for the girls house......

Basic pic of some of the buildings.....

Tyler loved his trip. He felt he was able to talk to God constantly and see His work. We will definitely be back!! We may even go this summer! There were over 180 pics that Tyler took, if you are interested in seeing more just let me know, or you can go here and see a lot more about Orphanage Emmanuel.