Being intentional in April

Well, its 12 days into the month and I had intended on writing this a lot sooner.

I have lost some focus on my overall 2013 goal of being more intentional, obviously. I still think on it from time to time but have moments were just getting through the day is best I can do!

Baseball season is in full swing for Tyler and just starting for Garyn. We are spending most of our nights at the fields. I enjoy it mostly. I get tired of not knowing what to do for dinner, though. We have eaten out and eaten fast food a lot more than I like. But I do think one of my goals for March was to enjoy baseball season! And we are doing that still! Ansley sees the school and says "Bay-ball game!" Garyn has some buddies he has been playing with well, too.

For April, I want to be more intentional about setting aside my time for the Lord. I have gotten into a nice pattern of doing my bible reading/ study while Ansley naps. But it isn't always quiet and focused. Garyn is usually in the room watching TV or playing on the computer. I would like to do a better job of finding a quiet spot to focus more. Our new bible study led me to that conviction. We just started "Discerning the Voice of God" by Priscilla Shirer. She talks a lot about being quiet before the Lord and focusing on worshipping him. I really want to know God's will for my life, especially with our house decisions we are making. Besides that,  I feel it is another step on my walk with Christ to be closer and in tune with Him for every decision I face.

Other areas I need to intentionally put my mind to are:

-preparing for Ansley's 2nd birthday party!
-staying on top of budget with groceries
-above means I need to work on organizing coupons
-spending time with both kids on a one-on-one level
-praying often for others and prayer requests
-reading "Circle Maker" more consistently
-staying in touch with family members, especially sick ones
-and last, watching my attitude with my family

I really want each activity/ task I do with and for my family to have purpose. I feel I get caught up in what I want to do or feel should be done. Later, I wonder why I worried about that particular thing when I could have enjoyed something else. I would love to intentionally prioritize and not waste my time. I know I will never be perfect and will have down time that is meaningless. However, when I know more about facebook status rather than having Garyn read a book to me, I feel I have failed for the day!

So, even though half of the month's gone already, I am jumping back on track and getting intentional about my day! I hope I haven't bored you with my ramblings and that you'll wonder what next month has in store!

Baby Tim

In order to give you the story of Baby #3, I have to start back to this fall around the time we were moving out of our house and into Nana and Poppa's house:

(he is right side up looking straight at you, belly is bottom circle head is top smaller circle)

 I distinctly remember sitting in the playroom with boxes around us when Garyn first mentioned that he wanted a baby brother. (probably late August) I also remember saying I wasn't sure if he would have one since mommy had a hard time with Ansley. And he was adamant that he wanted a baby brother since he already had a baby sister. Then a couple weeks later, we were in the car and he said "Momma, I'm still thinking about my baby brother." I chuckled and told him I really didn't know if it was possible for momma to have another one and even if so, we wouldn't be able to choose if it was a boy or girl. I also told him he would have to talk to God about that since He made that decision. He wanted to pray about it right then and there! So we did!  A third time (maybe late Sept.), also in the car, he said he was thinking about his baby brother again. I asked what about and he said, "I was thinking his name should be Baby Tim." I mean who is this kid and where is he coming up with this! (BTW he did a very similar prediction with Ansley, he just didn't name her) The only Tim we know is my uncle whom we see about every other month for maybe and hour or two. I can't think of any other person or character with that name.

All the while, we laughed about these conversations. Tyler's parents started asking us if there was a baby Tim coming they needed to know about. Which brings me to talk about what Tyler and I were deciding pertaining to baby #3........

As you know, or even if you don't, we struggled to get pregnant with Ansley. (read here) Once we were pregnant, we thought we would never prevent pregnancy again! It was such a struggle and hard time for us that it seemed crazy to not allow it to happen as natural as possible. Once Ansley came, though, we went back and forth on that decision. I knew I wanted another, at some time, Tyler started feeling happy with just two. So sometimes we did and sometimes we didn't prevent. It was just one of those subjects we didn't really discuss much, not that we argued about it but just that we knew we didn't want to go through fertility treatments again but also didn't know if we wanted Ansley to be an infant either when having a third. I, honestly, didn't know if it could happen. I didn't want to think about it much because I didn't want to get back in that hole of stressing over it. I trust God and just wanted to leave it up to Him.

I still give God the glory for Ansley and now for this one as well! I was not having regular menstrual cycles and was on no medication to regulate them. ( With both the others, I was at least on the basic med that kept me in a cycle) I thought I would not be able to get pregnant until I started back on that basic med used to control Polycystic Ovary Syndrome, which I have. However, as I said, I really wasn't concentrating on it. About the time Ansley turned one, we became less and less worried about preventing and felt it would be ok if another came along.

To get on with this story...I know you are ready for me to! In the midst of Garyn talking about Baby Tim and us laughing about how crazy it would be if he was right; I became pregnant in the month of October. After Thanksgiving weekend and being really late, I took a test. I WASN'T expecting to see a positive. I just thought I was becoming more irregular and would need to start my meds soon. I was in shock and that lasted about a month actually! I just couldn't believe I was pregnant and we weren't really trying! Yes, I know, we weren't preventing so we technically were trying. BUT there were no meds, no charts, no timing to it! I conceived completely natural! I know this excitement seems wild to some, but it really was a great testament to how God blesses us when we trust in Him and His timing.

 

(I tried several times to flip this, but the small little circle in the middle of the pic is his boy part!)

 

Fast forward a few months, we are having a baby BOY due July 28th, which is 4 days after Garyn's 6th birthday. Garyn wasn't at all surprised that I was pregnant and that it was a boy. We continue to call him Baby Tim. It was only fitting that his name include it. Yes, Baby Tim will officially be Layne Timothy! Layne is the name Tyler has wanted for all three of our children. He has brought it up each time when we were first pregnant. I really like the name myself and decided it was time to let him have the honor of naming him. When it came to the middle name, we just couldn't decide on any family names (both Garyn and Ansley have our middle names). We jokingly kept saying we should just do Timothy since everyone was already calling him Tim. I felt Garyn had prayed for and named this baby boy before we even knew about him therefore he deserved to be able to name him! I think this will be a great story to tell Layne one day. :)

I still am shocked that we are actually having a third when we are in the midst of moving, if we are completely moved even. It is also right before school starts for Tyler and Garyn! Yes, I will be dealing with a newborn and a new kindergartner plus add a two year old to that mix! AND it will be football season for Tyler! AHHH! Saying all of that makes me feel overwhelmed. But I know God has this planned and its the best when its in His timing!

(not the best pic, but most recent)

I am 21 weeks now and have been feeling great. I am hungry more and am recently feeling tired more, but over all, it has been a breeze, so far! He will be here before we know it. I am trying to soak up this time with my two babies especially since this is Garyn's last year at home. Therefore, I really haven't been planning much for Layne's arrival. Being that we will hopefully be in a new house before then, I really can't do anything anyway. Like I said, Garyn is completely content with a baby brother. Ansley, on the other hand, has no clue! She will be hands on yet jealous, I feel. She loves babies but also likes for me to be completely available to hold and tend to her beck and call. It will be an adjustment for her, I know. Knowing God was in control of this timing, I feel less stressed. It will be great fun for us all!

February to March: Intentional Recap

February is such a short month, isn't it! Those three days we miss out on seem like a week. However, I feel it was a great start towards my goal to being more Intentional in 2013. I felt more accomplished at the end of the day and that's a great feeling!

Of course, not everyday was peachy. I still had my lazy, unmotivated and unfocused days. However, most of the days I felt par for the course. Not because I accomplished so much but because I kept my priorities in line. I loved feeling good about playing with the kids; being positive and attentive while with Tyler; reading/ studying the bible; taking the time to call a few family members randomly to check in; hanging out with friends; and stretching every dollar. I was intentional to be in the moment and enjoy the task at hand.

(Ansley's new bow holder I made)

March should be just as successful!

1. Follow my Bible reading plan for March.
2. Continue reading Circle Maker- Can't wait!
3. Hang above bow holder
4. Meet with more friends for play dates/ lunch
5. Try to keep evenings for family time and not doing chores
6. Do Bible devotions with Garyn
7. Enjoy baseball season
8. Stop worrying about our next move, pray about it and let God reveal the answer
9. Focus on my scripture memory I have started
10. Listen to prayer needs and pray for them often

These may seem haphazardly listed, but I really am trying to focus on the small things. Being intentional about my everyday activities results in being more available for the unexpected and not feeling over run. I feel God is helping me to set my priorities straight and not busy my brain with all the unimportant thoughts or worries. Like I said, I don't go to bed wondering what happened that day. Yet, I feel more accomplished that I gave each task my all and don't regret wasted time. I just define wasted time differently when I am intentional about my goals! I guess I am trying to say that at times I feel if I can't say I have mopped, folded all the clothes, fixed so many meals and paid those bills then I haven't accomplished squat! Now, if I play Trouble with Garyn, sing songs with Ansley and check in on my Granny, I have done some meaningful yet intentional tasks that will resonate with all of us a lot longer then how many loads of laundry got done. I used to consider those wasted time, too. It's nice to be intentional about relationships rather than chores!

Hopefully, in 31 days I will feel just as good about intentional living!

What's new?

I tend to concentrate on the kids a lot in my blog posts. They are the biggest part of my life (and take up the most time, too) so that's to be expected I suppose. But there are 2 other people in this family and you might often be wondering "What's new with you?"

If not, I'm gonna tell you anyway, hahaha! Plus, I have worked 3 nights this week therefore I am being a night owl lately. I get in the "zone" about the time everyone has gone to bed. Even though, I myself, have slept only 3 1/2 hours out of the last 40. Which leads me to my first update.....

We have spent the last few weeks finishing our house to have it ready to sell. I know this is something I haven't really talked about, mainly because it seems to be up in the air as far as the details go. It still is really. Living for God is kinda like that I am finding as I surrender more and more to Him. We feel God moving us in a different direction and we still aren't sure where to yet.

Many doors have opened and shut lately, with some still remaining open. Every since we moved into this house we have discussed where to send our kids to school. We aren't zoned for bad schools necessarily but we just don't have a great/perfect elementary around us that we feel warm and fuzzy about. Moving to a different area has always been in the books for that reason. To add, Nana and Poppa bought some property in a great school area and offered to let us build on it. Still the same county, just in Sale Creek near Dayton. So that lead to the idea of building and sending them there. And for now that is the plan. Like I said, other doors have opened and some of them have already shut since that thought but for now we feel that is the path God is directing us towards. In order to build, though, we have to sell our house first. Which means, in the in between, we will be renting most likely. Where, we don't know! When, we have no clue! It all depends on when this house sells and where we find most suitable.

As I was originally saying, we have been busy doing finishing touches and repairs in order to sell our house. After many to-do lists and lots of sweat (mainly on Tyler's part), we got the house on the market today! I am excited yet sad. We have a lot of memories in this house bringing both our babies home to it. I think the business of getting it ready has masked the idea of actually leaving it until today when we actually put the sign up.

In other news, ITS SUMMER! Garyn is really excited about it this year. He is able to understand that school is out for him and daddy. He also gets that its hot outside and that's when we spend more time in the water. We have a busy summer ahead of us and I just hope it doesn't go too fast! The beginning starts with the best trip of all, too! DISNEY! We leave in a little over 24 hours and I am actually supposed to be packing right now. But aren't you glad I'm not?! :)

Garyn still has no idea. I can't believe we have made it this long without slipping up. We have said a few things in front of him thinking, "Oh, no!" but he hasn't asked or said anything about it. Our plan is to let him know once there or almost there. We are leaving in the middle of the night to make the drive go faster since Ansley hates the car! I.CAN'T.WAIT!

Back to house things.....I am notorious for killing plants! lol! My husband and father n' law always rag me about the dead plants that sit around our house until I finally throw them out. I am out to prove them wrong though! But before I do I must pay homage to some of my victims....

This was my longest living plant actually. I bought this African violet to put in our first house when we put it on the market, ironically. I had even thought about that just days before killing it. It had gotten so big that I had to transplant it into this larger pot. I felt I could do no harm to this one being that it had made it through droughts and neglect over the last 5 years. But for some reason, I got the crazy idea to set it out on the deck. I even knew it couldn't stay out there forever since it isn't a full sun plant. However, it had been a little gloomy its last few weeks of life and I thought maybe it needed more sun. Two days later, I remembered and saw that I had scorched the poor thing! I brought it back to its home, the kitchen windowsill, to die in peace. And now my father n' law actually has it. Not sure if he thinks he can revive it but I'll be grateful (and surprised) if so.

This is a grave site for another plant I had, a Peace Lily. There have been several of them in this pot actually over the last few years.....maybe its the pot???? Or maybe its just me, the plant killer. Anyway, this pot has sat in the foyer for the last few months like this. I was trying to give it's remains peace, I guess. But not anymore!

I bought and planted this today, as well as a couple other plants. I am out to prove the boys wrong! I have got to keep these plants alive or I will never live it down. We were making bets when leaving Lowe's today as to how long they would live. Garyn gave me a month. (Yes, even he knows how bad I am.) But Tyler said he must not know me too well because they wouldn't even last that long! My goal is to make it waaayy past a month! So I will keep you posted on how they are doing!

And I can't do this update without mentioning that my baby girl turned 13 months yesterday. I am bummed knowing the monthly updates are dwindling since she won't be going to the doc as much, probably will grow a little less fast, and her age will now be referred to in years and not months. But I intend to still update because she has changed in this last month and... well...... it is my blog! :)

One of her biggest changes has been in her eating. As you can see in this picture, she loves to feed herself....anything and everything. I didn't realize there were Hershey kisses in this bucket until I found her sitting here having a snack and making a mess!

She is eating mostly table food and less baby food. She has most recently tried macaroni and cheese. I have found she isn't too fond of fruits yet. Which is exact opposite of Garyn. I don't think she can chew them well yet, though, so I will keep trying. She will eat some banana. She has become quite the beggar, too, wanting whatever you are eating. Garyn thinks it's funny when she makes grunting noises at you and points to your plate. Grilled chicken, cheese toasts and crackers are her favorites. She is also drinking better from her sippy cups getting more milk down. But she still nurses in the morning and at night right now.

Speaking of chewing, she just today got her second tooth! She also has another that is so close to busting through. So she has her bottom right and top right teeth now to hopefully chew things up better. Although, you would never know she didn't have teeth in that she tries to eat chips,crackers and other hard stuff. Some times she can mash them and other times she just spits it out if it isn't working out for her.

Her vocabulary has expanded some in the last month. She now says "pee pye" when playing peek a boo. And she seems to say "EI EI O" when we sing Old McDonald. She also puts "Hi" with names sometimes. Like "Hi Nana" She uses all the words appropriately now, too. Her favorite thing is "uh oh". I laughed the other day when we were out on a walk. She kept saying "uh oh" and I didn't think much about it. Then I noticed her looking for something to realize she had dropped her pacifier a ways back! Guess I'll listen more often now. Other times, we feel she is just jabbering as if she knows exactly what we are saying to her and she is answering us back. Its too funny to carry on a conversation with her little expressions and such.

Here is a little snippet of her saying ball. And I want to say that I totally know she looks unsafe in half this video! I don't typically leave the side of the buggy when she is standing in it. As you can tell, she is still a climber and will climb everything to get to what she wants. I put her in the seat of the buggy only to have her climb out quickly so putting her in the bigger part is how I get by! Don't judge!

Alright, I think I have updated on every member of the household now. And I really need to get busy so I can go to bed soon!

Won't be back till we are back from Disney!

Easter 2012

I was remembering last Easter a lot before celebrating Easter of 2012.  Not only did we celebrate Christ's death and resurrection but we are also about to celebrate Ansley's birth. I am starting to get a little sad about that fact.....it just can't be!

Back to Easter, we had an adventurous one this year. To start, we spent the 4 days prior at the beach. I will have to get that posted soon. But it was a nice relaxing beginning and lots of family time. Then on Sunday morning, we got to spend it in the park. We have been visiting another church lately that does an egg hunt and service in Coolidge Park.It was a different experience for sure. However, we enjoyed it!

The kids "hunted" eggs....

We enjoyed having church together, actually. I was worried how the kids (or Ansley I should say) would do but the relaxed atmosphere and large open area in front of us worked great!

My two main men!

                                           Baby girl and I while she snacked on a cracker

Rockin' the shades while at church

It was a great Easter and I hope to be able to get some more pictures up from the day soon. I am having a hard time with photobucket. It is taking me at least 3x as long to blog now! Plus, I think my mother n' law has some of all four of us together. But for the sake of getting this posted, those can wait!

Tomorrow is my baby's first birthday,,,,,yikes!

pieces to the puzzle

I have many fond memories of doing puzzles when I was younger. My grandmother used to have one on the dining room table at all times. We would spend time together working and talking finishing them. A very important family friend loved puzzles, too, and I often stayed at the table with him for hours working on one. Garyn has a heart for puzzles, like myself. We often sit down and do puzzles together now learning about each other as we work.

I have had a lot of thoughts lately about how life is filled with pieces that come together to make it whole....like a puzzle.

God amazingly created this earth, us and the way we all live together. Some pieces are closer and more important but all the while need the other pieces to function.

On Saturday, when I was driving to Atlanta to pick up Tyler from the airport upon his return from Honduras, I thought a lot about our main 4 piece puzzle. Tyler, Garyn, myself and now Anlsey make a whole. Sentimentally, I thought about how when one of us is gone for an extended amount of time, life is just different. We need each other more than I usually realize.

We can't always be together obviously, and its so hard to imagine, but one day Garyn and Ansley will start their own puzzle. One of the most significant times that I was able to understand and relate to my mother n' law, now known as Nana, was when Garyn was in his first weeks of life. Tyler was once in her womb and a major piece to her puzzle of life. I had been, too, for my dad and mom. Seeing how much Garyn meant to me, helped me to completely understand the way our own parents feel towards us. Just like the old saying goes...that one you heard over and over..."One day, you'll have kids and understand"

Even though, we do have to let go of our children one day, they are always a part of your puzzle. Tyler and I are a part of our parents puzzle and have just added another picture of our own to the side.

Friends, family, church, memories, work...they also are part of our puzzles, whether we realize it or not.

Orphanage Emmanuel is now a part of Tyler and I's puzzle pieces. The staff, children, places and presence of God there tugs at our heart. We feel that we will always return, as much as we can, in order to keep this piece in tow.

Tyler, as he was supposed to, found us a new piece while there. Rosa and Karina, our first 2 sponsored girls, have both returned home with family. Them leaving didn't mean they left our puzzle, just moved out further to the edges. I still often think of them and pray they are well and safe. But little Omar is the new piece, a new member at Orphanage Emmanuel that needed a sponsor. Though I haven't met him or seen him, a place for him is growing in my heart. A pure reflection of God's love for us. I know God loves him and has a plan for his life. I can be a physical expression of that love for God because I know that is what he has called us to do and gives us the desire to do whether we want to or not.

Just can't wait to meet him and love on him. He is only one, as of Jan. 31st. I promise to post pictures!

I feel the same way about little Ansley, of course. Knowing that she is about to be a big piece of our puzzle just makes my heart swell. She already is actually. Once we see her and learn about her personality it is only going to be harder to imagine the 3 piece puzzle we had before she came into existence.

I know God has all of our puzzle pieces in His hands, big and small. He places them when the time is right. He knows the full picture and knows when we are ready to see more of it. I pray that I won't try to move any pieces on my own. We all know that when you try to make a piece fit that isn't right, it just never works!

I am thankfully for my big pieces and little ones, too. I felt so whole on Saturday knowing Tyler had returned safely and we all were together again.

Have you ever felt like life was a big puzzle?

Tooomorrow....Tooomorrow....

Wow, tomorrow is when it all begins! And I am excited that we may have a white Christmas this year! Although, I am supposed to work Christmas night, so I don't want to get stuck or have others not be able to come to work making me have to go... :( But we won't worry about that now.

Quickly wanted to post about going to Rock City for the first time in years and Garyn's first time at all.

I was really glad we went to see the Christmas lights. Garyn loved it and kept his jacket and toboggan on the whole time, a feat for him, let me tell you.

Tyler and I quickly realized, asking for a new camera for Christmas was not selfish of me at all! My camera is getting worse about taking blurry, fuzzy pictures. But I did get a few good ones....

 Garyn in front of one of the trees, love that sweet face!

 Garyn walking through one of the "tunnels" (when we see bridges and tunnels he always relates it to Thomas train tunnels and bridges). I was glad he thought of that instead of being scared.

 Really like this one, never could get a good one of Tyler and Garyn

 He was standing in a sail boat

These next pictures just made the night for me. We felt so good about the expensive price for tickets (even with my coupon) knowing that they took time to tell everyone the whole Christmas story.
I am viewing Christmas differently each year now. This year I am looking at a lot of main stream norms and wondering why they are so far from the real reason for the season. So going to see the lights AND getting the story of Jesus' birth was awesome.  (sorry for my little tangent)

 The whole nativity was set up in a wooden manger, characters were life size

 The scene was within a small amphitheater, with a loud speaker cycling an invitation to sit down, the whole Bible story, then some Christmas Christian carols.

 It  lasted maybe ten minutes, and people were filling the sits to listen to the whole story. Garyn was intensely and reverently listening, he even told me to be quiet when I tried to sing (quietly) along with the songs. It was hilarious!

Cute Gingerbread house near the end

So we enjoyed the night and will do this again!

Hope you are enjoying the season and are ready for tomorrow!

Merry Christmas!

THe StOrY

I have been wanting to post about this for over a year and a half. Little did I know, God had more to add to the story; more than I ever could have imagined. In fact, it probably really wouldn't have been a story if I had had it my way. But I loooove the story now. Oh, the lessons God has taught me over the last year and a half.

To start, I have Poly cystic Ovary Syndrome which basically means your ovaries produce cysts instead of doing what they are supposed to do. I was diagnosed just before becoming pregnant with Garyn. I started a medicine to just regulate my cycle and stop the cysts. After being told all the infertility issues that typically go along with it, Tyler and I decided to not prevent and became pregnant with Garyn a month after starting the medicine. Needless to say, we were a little shocked and wasn't expecting it to be so easy!

Fast forward 2 years or so......we decided to start trying for number 2. Quickly, we saw those infertility problems we thought weren't going to effect us. God, as well, showed us we were not in control. When a year passed, we started some fertility drugs. At the same time, God continually reminded us that He was going to bless us on His time. One particular sermon a few months ago, showed us that God can choose to eliminate all other possibilities for something to happen other than himself to receive full glory. After church, we both said that could be what God was doing with us. The doctors were telling me they didn't understand why the fertility medicines weren't making me ovulate {I say doctors because 3 months into the fertility drugs my main doctor sent me to a fertility doctor} Out of the seven months I took the fertility drugs that are supposed to make you ovulate, I only ovulated twice.

By the time, I took the medicine the seventh time, I was frustrated, hurt, depressed at times, and feeling God didn't want me to take the medicine anymore. I was putting too much faith in the medicine and not enough in Him. Even though, I knew God was ultimately the decider, I just felt the medicine should at least make me ovulate and was mad at when it didn't. My Honduras trip was the beginning of an eye opening experience God was about to take me through.

To make a long story (and a little-too-much-information-story) short: when I arrived in Honduras, I realized I needed my medicine while also discovering I once again was not pregnant (it was not a daily med, just certain days of the month). Unlike normal, I wasn't upset; didn't cry or get mad. I felt at peace. I can't explain it but I trully felt God take the burden off my heart and allowed me to let it go. I also took it as a sign that God obviously didn't want me to take the medicine. There was no way to call Tyler, no way to go to Walgreens......no way I was going to be able to take the medicine that month. The whole week, I felt comforted the few times I thought about it that no matter what happened, I was going to be just fine. In fact, being there with all the orphans made me feel so selfish for being caught up in my own misery the months prior.

A month later, I took a test and was completely shocked! Although, I felt God had intervened in me not taking the medicine; I thought that was the lesson to be learned. Trust God and start being content in His will. However, I was blessed in the process with a positive test. Four positives actually! I had taken so many that showed negative, that I just couldn't believe I finally had a positive!

Tyler and I had said the whole month, "Wouldn't it be crazy if this were the month I got pregnant?" We knew God would want us to tell the story to never forget what He had done for us. And it's not crazy, it's God. He can do anything, even after the doctors are speechless and don't know why the medicines aren't working. Even after you have spent 19 months trying to get pregnant with no reaults. ( I know so many more have tried much longer than this, and I feel for them or you. ) Now, He has all the glory for this child growing inside me. He eliminated any other possible reason for me to become pregnant.

So I tell you this story with great excitement and great praise to God. I hope you can see what He has taught us and apply it to your own circumstances that you may be facing. It has been a journey for sure, but I would rather not have it be any other way than God's way.

Today, I am 9 weeks & 2 days and was able to see the baby's heart beat and even movement! I realize I have a long way to go (31 weeks to be exact) but I feel God will help me through the next chapters of this story. I just have to remember this journey!

And Jesus looking on them said, With men it is impossible, but not with God: for with God all things are possible. Mark 10:27

Got fruit?

My garden has come along and produced some fruit for me. Although, I have learned some lessons from it this year.

If you remember, Tyler really didn't want me to do one this year mainly because he didn't want to work at getting the soil ready, plant, and then it all die because I am not the best gardener. I was determined though, and set out to find a closer spot to the house and a smaller one. I attempted to use some concrete borders we already had to make a raised bed. He helped me get the soil in it and weed killer. Then I planted.

I had six plants (squash, cucumbers, zucchini, peppers and 2 tomato plants).

Well I had a couple squash sprout then some cucumber. And I had one pepper spring forth.

But then the tomato plants grew and grew. Along with some type of bugs, the tomato plants killed off the other plants! I am getting 2-3 tomatoes a week from the massive things. Pretty much every green limb you see stems fro the 2 tomato plants. I still have some pepper buds but everything else has died off.

{notice, too, that my concrete borders are pitiful now}

This is the brown remains of the squash and cucumber plants.

So I have learned lessons this year. Not just physical gardening lessons but spiritual ones, too.

1. The garden was too small or I was trying to fit too much in. (I am wondering why I planted 2 tomato plants since I am the only one that eats them......?)

2. Stake, Stake, Stake!!

3. Need some type of bug killer

4. Weed preventer and wet newspaper work great! (that was my biggest problem last year)

5. Space things out better

Now spiritually, I can't help but notice how these lessons can apply.

1. How often do we try to fit too much into one day or our schedules. For me, I tend to half do things and forget the important aspects cause I have so much I want to do or have planned.

2. We all need support; God, Jesus, Holy Spirit and great family and friends are the best support. I often think I can do everything on my own and then get overwhelmed and accomplish very little.

3. Bugs = Satan in my gardening parable. Satan so often kills every lead we make in trying to serve Christ because we let him. Tyler and I frequently talk about how we feel attacked just when we are trying to focus on being a better Christian.

4. Pertaining to #3, we need to prevent and prepare for those attacks Satan uses. Reading the word; focusing on listening and praying to God; "weeding" out the unimportant events we fill our lives with; taking steps of faith instead of hiding in fear.........These are all ways to be one step ahead of Satan and be walking with God instead.

5. Space things out better---that is an understatement for me. I want everything done now, just so I can plan something to do next week. When in reality, God wants us to worry about today only. I need to be conscience of how much I am trying to fit into my daily life.

Jesus says, "I am the true vine, My Father is the vinedresser. Every branch in Me that does not bear fruit He takes away; and every branch that bears fruit He prunes, that it may bear more fruit. I am the vine, you are the branches. He who abides in me and I in him, bears much fruit. By this My Father is glorified, that you bear much fruit." John 15:1-2, 5, 8

I want to bear fruit, not be taken away. Pruning is ok, we all need it. I have already been pruning at myself. The lessons God has taught me (as stated above) have helped me to inventory whether or not I am bearing fruit. Some things in my inventory do nothing to bear fruit for God's kingdom. I aim to weed those out so that the branches I do have that have potential to bear fruit can produce.

So, Got fruit??

We Will Remember....

I love the song We Will Remember. (I would love for you to go and listen to this song) On the way home yesterday, I was thinking about all I had seen and learned. That song kept coming to me and seemed to be a great blog idea....

Today has been an eye opening day to top off this eye opening week I had in Honduras. 

God has been opening my eyes to a lot lately.

 To start it off, I have finished Crazy Love. I would recommend the book and have had some similar books recommended to me that I want to read next. But that's another subject.

Living an intentional life is the lesson I took from the book. Not allowing yourself to be "luke warm" and complacent as a Christian, yet do God's will for your life. Do whatever it takes to do what you feel moved to do despite what our society may say or think about it. I was convicted by this and had begun to pray for God's will to be laid on my heart.

Then, I left for Honduras where I saw such poverty yet faith. Every Christian there, as far as I can tell, "walks by faith, not by sight" as 2 Cor. 5:7 encourages us to do. All of the staff, the many children, the volunteers that come, and even the sponsers of the children must have faith that God will provide them their next meal; that He will keep them safe; and/or that He will stretch their love across the world to the kids. Comprehending this concept is tiring when you first arrive. I have many blessings and have many family members to lean on. They were all from the Lord, but I don't give Him the credit always. However, they have very little and must have faith that God will provide at the Orphanage.

I want to remember these lessons God has taught me and change things in my life that hinder me to live in God's will and by faith. I will remember a lot more, as well. 

All the wonderful smiles the children give you when you just ask them their name or give them a hug.....

The love I felt for many children, especially Rosa..... 

The stress Brent and Bettye were feeling about the appointments to bring Azucena home and the sheer relief when things fell into place miracously......

The many friends I made on the trip. I left hardly knowing 2 people, but had faith that I would make friends and feel comfortable with my travel mates.......

The spanish lessons we had with our cooks. They always kept us laughing........

Playing Phase 10 with my new friends that also had us all laughing......

The worshipping children during the church services and their morning circles.........

Seeing my first pig slaughter, I won't ever forget that.....

(I will spare you from the pictures, trust me)

My time in the clinic, I felt nervous about it beforehand, not knowing what I would be doing or if I would remember pediatric nursing, but God handled that and I felt at ease......

I won't forget seeing Rosa's tears the night before I left or the feeling of my own heart breaking for her.....

I also will not forget this morning's church service where a lot of things came into place for me. Remember how I said I had been thinking about We Will Remember and this blog post? Well, low and behold we sang that song in church today. I teared up and knew God wanted me to remember this trip.

I also started thinking of things in my life that hinder me from living God's will. I started writing them on the bulletin and showed them to Tyler. I was saying how Crazy Love and the trip were showing me areas that I needed to change in order to live in God's will.

All the while, Pastor Dooley was speaking and I wasn't really hearing him but then as if his microphone was turned up, I heard him talking about how to live in God's will. He was speaking on how God will show you His will for your life through events and feelings and on His own time. I really started tearing up then. It was a wonderful moment to know that the ideas and thoughts I had been having over the last week were of God. He was making me aware of areas that I had become complacent and afraid to step out on faith.

Furthermore, not but 5 minutes ago, in the middle of me writing this post. My father n' law was here and I was telling him about my trip. Not knowing anything about my day or this post, he even said " So they really live by faith there." Just another statement that reinforced what God is showing me to do.

Friends, our God is amazing. I hope you know Him and are able to trust Him.

I can't wait to return to Orphanage Emmanuel and see Rosa again. If God wants us to, he will provide the way.

Honduras Contd.

Life here at the Orphange has been well. I feel humbled and grateful for all I have at my disposable. Tyler asked me today what did I miss besides he and Garyn. I said, "Really just you guys." Of course, with time I would miss others and some things, but I have been thinking more simplistic. I mean, makeup, hair, clothes, shoes are not important here. Well let me say that they are important, they mean a lot to the kids, but they are just thrilled to have them. They don't get "new" shoes and clothes every season. They don't have different shoes to match their outfits. When their hair is clean and lice free, it is in much better condition than at one point of their life. Straightening and coloring is no where in their vocabulary. The pastor I am with and his wife may be taking a girl they have been sponsoring for awhile home next week on a student visa. I asked them if she had any of her own clothes to take back. They weren't sure but have sent her some over the years. They brought a small carry-on size bag for her belongings. She may not even fill that bag. So to say I have felt self centered and materialistic since being here is an understatement. I hope I can remember this when I get home and change my way of thinking.

 We are still working in the clinic assessing children about 5 hours of the day. So far we have seen about 80 children in 3 days. We have cleaned lots of bug bites and ears. We had two lice treatments today and it really may not do too much good since all the girls share things. We did have a child with a candy wrapper or something in his ear. I did not attempt to remove it. So we will see if they get to it tomorrow. I enjoy working with them. We will probably only do it one more day and then try to do some activities with the kids one day.

And to finish off the day, we went to the warehouse to unload the container truck that came. Yesterday one came from California with rice, flour and beans. Today it was the one from Chattanooga with many moon pies. I mean come on, you have got to have your food pyramid covered! There were thousands on the truck. The kids usually eat one in the morning with their cereal. Unloading the container is a big event here. It was all quite humurous really. The older boys that help unload love to jump on top of it at the front gate....

I now know what I will do with the yard sale items in my garage. Tyler will be so happy to get rid of them, and I will feel good knowing they will go to a good cause. The container had some furniture, refridgerator, microwave, piano, and overhead projectors for the school. Plus many other clothes and food items. The volunteers that come for the summer also get packages and were excited for that. Its almost like a monthly Christmas. The bottom picture is their warehouse that houses extra food, clothes, toys and furniture.

Well before I go, I need for you to pray for my return home. Right now the airport is saying they are closed to repair the runway until Monday. We are supposed to be flying out Saturday. We have heard that they could have it done earlier, but we don't know. The closest airport is an 8-11 hour drive depending on road conditions (most roads here are dirt and during the rainy season, which is now, they are very bumpy and washed away). I know by then I will really miss my boys! It is bitter sweet, though, because if they were here I could stay an extra few days. But anyhow, pray that God keeps us all content while His will is done.

Honduras!

Well I’m here in Honduras!


I had a good flight and didn’t get too motion sick. I mainly just had a head ache that wasn’t gone until this morning. My company on the plane was great. I was between two Hondurans; one has been in America the last 30 years and the other illegally came to America for the last 6 years and knew little English. Long story short, I heard both of their stories over the 3 ½ hour flight. ( I think I got about 20 mins to snooze)

The American-Honduran to my right, that spoke fluent English, has started a children rescue mission and comes to Honduras 6 times a year. He is a Christian that felt called to leave his job 6 years ago and work full time to bring mission groups over to minister, feed children and seniors and hopefully start an orphanage. He asked me my testimony and encouraged me in my walk. I did the same for him. After I told him about Orphanage Emmanuel, he was feeling down about what he was doing; that it was inadequate in comparison. I really encouraged him in that what he was doing was so much more than anyone else is doing for those kids. He gave me a list of prayer requests and his website to keep in touch. To the left, was the man working in America for 6 years and hadn’t seen his wife and 4 children during that time. He was returning home after working to make money for a tractor or possibly to start a business. Though we didn’t speak the same language, his excitement radiated off of him. I couldn’t imagine not seeing Tyler or Garyn for 6 years! I really felt God placed me in that seat, I was humbled and more prepared when the plane landed.

  Once in the capital and driving to where the Orphange is, I was attempting to comprehend the views in a third world country. Extremes of nice hotels and malls to small homes, no, shacks on top of each other. You could literally take 4-5 pieces of plywood and build yourself a better home than these. You could see the people inside them eating, changing, children playing on dirt floors, clothes stacked on the floor (a stack that would fit in one laundry basket), and then you would see a mall the size of Northgate. So basically I needed Tyler there to explain to me why there was such poverty, but yet enough economy to support a mall.

  Anyway, on to the more fun stuff.....

  I met Rosa once we got here while she was eating dinner. It was a weird feeling, kinda like  the feeling you have after meeting your newborn child. I had known of her, known a little about what she liked and had already felt love towards her before meeting her. Then when I met her; there was excitement but yet I didn't know her hardly at all and couldn't speak to her! She is doing good, not in school anymore and says she is bored here. Mainly like a typical 14 year old, she acted out in school and since they can't force her to go to school after 6th grade, she isn't anymore. But she really wanted to know where Tyler was and if I could call him so that she could talk to him. I told her I wished I could talk to him! I thought it was sweet though that she wanted me to tell him she loved him. I got to see her room where she has the picture we sent of the 3 of us on her bed. She and her friends giggle and laugh a lot, saying who knows what. They want to hold my hands, play with my hair and take pictures. We have also looked at and watched every picture and video on my phone of Garyn and Tyler. Here are some of the pictures they have taken.

Church was great this morning. I almost cried about three times. I loved the girls singing and raising their hands. The fact that they have a home, food and people that love them was a little overwhelming. We sang some songs that I wish I could remember the words to, but they really spoke to me.

Well it is almost dinner time so I will try to write again. Rosa just got here and is able to eat dinner with me tonight. Today wasn't very busy so I don't know if I will have time the other days.