Do you remember being young and dreaming of the life you want when you "grow up"?
Although, I don't have a lot of memories from when I was young, I do remember wanting to be a wife and mom that lived in a cute house with family dinners and vacations :) I also wanted more than one child and I wanted them to be closer in age than my brother and I (we are 4 months shy of 10 years apart).
And however corny or crazy this may sound, the first day I met Tyler in the 8th grade, I knew he was the type I could have that family with; I even thought there was a good chance he was the one I would have that family life with! No joke! It was a strange feeling to me. I felt as if I knew him and could trust him immediately after meeting him.
Anywho, I am now in the dream! Tyler is my husband and I now have TWO beautiful kids with him!
It is still surreal to me at times, especially the part about having not one but two kids now. We dream those dreams and try to imagine what it will be like. It is different yet so much better than what I imagined it to be.
It is also puzzling that I am here in this life, but still feel like the same old Sarah. That might sound odd, but I think we feel we will be a different person with lots of wisdom and maturity behind our belt. I always felt that I couldn't have all that responsibility. Obviously, I do and it is manageable but the truth is our desires and personality don't change. Just our age!
Of course, I say all this knowing that yes, I have matured and am a lot more prepared for motherhood than when I was 7 but it my mind, I still feel like that little girl sometimes that is excited to be living "the dream".
Life with two can be challenging and not always dreamy. I have had to adjust the "me" time. I take showers, eat, put on makeup, wash clothes, clean, coupon, and even blog in a rush because I know any minute baby girl will be needing me or G-man will be calling for me.
Tyler and I have had to work through some kinks ourselves. Balancing both kids and getting to spend time together not to mention our individual free time, can be challenging. I have found myself jealous of him getting to watch tv or go eat with friends. Jealous enough to try and keep him from doing it. So, often we discuss ways to make the daily grind easier on us both. I also have to work through the reasons it is good for him and for me to take the time we need when we can. Even when it means, giving up time together or not getting everything done I had planned to do.
Ansley is two months now! I can see a pattern and schedule forming. I can also manage to get out of the house by 10 am with a shower! :) I just started back to work though, so that is going to become another challenge on the days I work and the day after.
However challenging this life may be, I love every minute of it. My focus right now is to soak in it and stop thinking ahead....or dreaming ahead you could say! Because while the dreams are inevitable and wonderful, sometimes they take us away from the present, don't you think?
Having said that, I'll go back to my present dream life......